-from Sue Carrigan Cody (How to be a gracious bitch)
HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS BITCH

Janet's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the- bride ever!

A week later, Janet was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Janet asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it,'' she replied..

Janet told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart.. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.''

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Janet asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it..."

Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.''

(NOW I ASK YOU - IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS STORY?)

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and
your ass is disconnected!